I cried today
I cried today…
Because unbeknownst to me a part of my story has died
Along with the tumultuous black woman
The pride laid aside
To rest
With her in her final resting place
Depression’s ultimate symptom being suicide
See i cried today
Because a reminder came swiftly
That although i strive everyday
My God wants me to do less of
That which leaves me on the edge of insanity
On the brink of brilliance
Yet always seeming to fall too far from
Abundance
I cried today
I wept
For the undying test
that it seems
Falls on all my sistas
We stay strong
But want to burst at the seams
We are the leaders
The followers
The lenders and the borrowers
Of wisdom, of peace, of rest and time
Those of us that close our eyes to an infinite slumber
I bless in hopes that the tranquility you've found is like no other
I boo hooed
Because the ideas that sometimes haunt me
Have outpaced me this day
But so grateful and glad that my chest yet rises and falls
Filling itself with the oxygen needed
My heart
Still beating
I cried and hollered today
Because
My God
A black woman is a summation of the tiredness of women
And the invisibility that is attached to black skin
I said I cried today
So tired of how often i war with my fellow kin
With non black women
My mahogany husband
How i find myself draped in their margins
Lost in a sea of pretty perfect perched on purpose
I said I cried lost in the vortex.
Of. pretty. Perfect.
Perched.
On purpose.
I got up thinking whew, wee todays the day I’m gonna get it
And my peers reminded me why I will always be the exception to the rule
So it is my duty to fight for freedom
It is my duty to win
Assata’s cry
Deep in my mind’s eye
I feel the need to keep going
And take the whole team with me
Scheduling every inch of my time to teach and to reiterate the message
But when it's all said and done can I say
I really learned my lesson?
I cried today because there are things I need to learn
Yet fear I never may
I cried for the worries that appendage themselves
To our movements
Our moments of clarity
It is all so clear to me
And although i know that we cannot give up
My time here is numbered
Marked by memories
Momentous occasions
That remind me
My life is meant to be lived
To breathe deeply
To laugh daily
And to cry when I’m angry
Striving isn’t my purpose, passion or destiny.
I cried today
And, unbeknownst to me, those tears set me free.